MONDAY
Our trip inadvertently started on Sunday, due to poor wedding scheduling on my part. I played for a reception north of Detroit, and then we had to drive all the way to Chicago O'Hare that night, since our flight left at 6:00am. We arrived at the aLoft Hotel (very modern with lots of hipsters - the 'rents would fit right in) around midnight, and got a few hours of sleep before we had to get ready and out the door by 4:30am.
Since we are a big braggy show, and were flying Business Class for the first leg of our trip, we got to go through the "special" security line. Unfortunately, this allows for less collection of material. Since Jeff looks like a terrorist, he got to stand on the special mat and have a magic wand waved about his person. I collected his belongings, and we were off to our gate.
We boarded with all of the other big braggy shows, those in wheelchairs, and people with too many kids. We settled into our cushy seats, and got to listen as the masses walked by, all of them with something innane too say, like "This must be first class!" Yes, yes. Now scurry your peon selves to the back of the plane and let me enjoy my television and real glassware!
It was at this moment that Jeff realized that his keys were left at the security checkpoint. (Note the lack of blame assigned.)
We were served breakfast, and had a lovely flight to Denver, where we had to change planes for the remainder of our trip. This leg, we were only in Economy Plus. Pfffftttt.
Upon arrival at the Las Vegas airport, we were met by our limo driver. When one of our bags didn't arrive, he went to speak with the United representative, found out when it would be arriving, and offered to deliver it to us on his next trip! He drove us to the famous sign, took our picture, and gave us suggestions of places to go and shows to see. Jeff also earned the "Tipper of the Month" award!
Our hotel was the Stratosphere, and we had made afternoon appointments at the spa. I even convinced Jeff to pamper himself with a facial & MANicure. The lady who did our facials was Russian, and yelled at us for not drinking enough water - "Your house. No water bill!!!"
This is a picture of our bathroom:
Dinner that night we didn't feel like going far, so we made reservations for the restaurant at the top of the hotel (Top of the World). It is a revolving restaurant with a great view of The Strip and the lights of the city. Food was good, and the ambiance would have been up there, but there were so many people who were "crashing" for the view, but not paying for dinner. Of course, they ignored the dress code, too. I think I'm becoming a snob!
TUESDAY
Breakfast at the hotel was cinnamon roll french toast. We picked up our rental car (a Mustang convertible!) and started out for the Grand Canyon. We lasted a full 20 minutes with the top down, and then pulled off into a parking lot to put it up and turn on the air conditioning. On the way we drove over the Hoover Dam, and decided to tune into their tourist information radio station:
"We have a new tour available, known as the "Dam Tour". To take the "Dam Tour", please
see the ticket agent. This "Dam Tour" covers all of the sights of the previous tours, but also
includes the inner workings of the Dam. You don't want to miss this "Dam Tour."
I was in fits of giggles, and made Jeff listen to it again!
Based on the distance, we chose to go to to Grand Canyon West, rather than the South Rim. It was a really depressing drive, with lots of run-down houses, no gas stations, no toilets, and no restaurants. There were some cows on the side of the road, but that was the extent of the excitement.
Until we got to the last 15 miles of unpaved road. It was gravel, sort of. There were also large areas that were under construction, and we had to follow a "pilot car" through them. Nothing like off-roading in a rented car!
Our car, post off-roading:
Grand Canyon West is a huge ripoff! They make you park far away from the canyon, and then you are forced to take one of their tours ($30/person). If you want to walk on the SkyWalk, that's another $30. And you can't take your camera out there. But if you want a picture, they have people there who will sell you one for $20+. For philosophical and financial reasons, we refused the SkyWalk.
They seem to cater to the Japanese tourism trade. Of course, there is always a corny dad around to say things like, "Wow! That Canyon really is grand!" There are also plenty of women in their 60's, wearing skid-prone shoes, climbing out onto perilous rock ledges for that once in a lifetime photo op. It's a place designed to thin the herd.
The food option was something called a Guano Cafe. If you don't know what guano is, you might eat there. If you do, you'd rather starve.
On the return bus, we had a slightly psychotic driver. His first and only words to the trapped patrons: "You might want to buckle up. I know the driver."
We drove back to Vegas, and bought tickets to ride the open topped sightseeing bus so we could see the lights.
The guide was dreadful, and kept telling us where he lived, how he did magic, how he was better than David Copperfield, etc. We exited the bus as soon as we could, and had a deli sandwich dinner at the Tropicana. Now that place is old skool Vegas! It was smelly, smoky, and filled with cougars far beyond their prime.
We took a cab back to our hotel at the other end of the Strip and took advantage of the free tickets Jeff won for Bite! We were pleasantly surprised by the actual talent possessed by the dancers, although it was distracting when they kept taking their tops off. We were seated at a table with a bunch of cool guys from England who were there for a stag party. They were mocking a guy sitting at another table who was drinking a frou-frou umbrella drink: "I wonder what he said when he ordered that? Um, yes, I'd like a glass of bile with some whipped cream on top? Nancy boy!" To their credit, it did look quite a bit like bile.
Jeff fulfilled something on his "bucket list" by entering a midnight poker tournament. He was out by the second round, but was still up until 3am!
WEDNESDAY
Shopping day! We tried to get tickets for Wayne Brady, but he wasn't performing that night. We started out at the Fashion Show shops, and then went to the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace. We emerged with our prey from La Perla and Mont Blanc.
Dinner was the part of the trip that I was anticipating the most: Joel Robuchon, a 3-star Michelin restaurant in the MGM Grand. Everybody there spoke French, and we were always addressed as "madame et monsieur". You need to drink before you can even look at the menu, so I had a Kir Royale and Jeff had a vodka & cranberry. We had the choice between still or sparkling water, but it doesn't come out of the tap. It's a bottle of Evian that they put in a silver case on your table, and charge you $10 for it. I was super excited because my menu did not have prices!
We selected a six course menu, and asked the sommelier to do a wine pairing for us.
- L'amuse-bouche
- Une Entree (Appetizer)
- Une Soupe (if you can't figure this one out, I refuse to help you)
- Un Poisson (Fish)
- Une Vande (Meat)
- Fromage (Cheese)
- Dessert
- Moka ou The escorte de mignardises (Coffee or tea with candy)
For the amuse-bouche, Jeff had caviar and crab; I had an apple gelee with a Fuji foam.
We both had La Tomate for the appetizer, which was a tomato topped with olive oil and herbs, served along with a tomato gelee topped with mozzarella. We were glad the server instructed us on how to eat it!
About this time the bread cart comes around. I had read a reveiw that the bacon bread tasted better than bacon, and they were right! The milk bread was also stellar.
We both had Le Soja for our soup - a vegetable consomme with soybean on a shimeji royal. Whatever a shimeji royal is.
We also both went with salmon for our fish. It was served with a honey soy sauce, mango, green apple, and turmeric.
For meat, we finally picked something different! Jeff had Boeuf - a beef ribeye with wasabi spinach and a medley of bell peppers, and I had Canard - duck and seared foie gras with cherries and fresh almonds. It was served with a side of the most incredible potato puree I have ever tasted, but I forgot it was there, and was devastated when the waitress took away my plate after I had only eaten one bite!
Dinner dishes were cleared, and the cheese trolley approached. I remember having a camembert and a brie that smelled of moldy socks but tasted like heaven. They had about 15 selections, and would cut from the block of cheese tableside.
We both had Le Chocolat for dessert - melting Araguani chocolate refreshed with a hint of peppermint. The sorbet cart that followed was a surprise! It was served on a tuille, and you had your choice of caramel, strawberry, or chocolate.
As if that wasn't enough, coffee and tea service also included a visit from the candy trolley, attended by a Very, Very, Very French man. Bent knee, limp wrist. Perfect! We each selected a few bite-sized candies, and he remarked that there was still a little room on the tray, so he said "Hmmm, how about a little nougat? Hmmm?" How could you resist? We had some nougat. What I really wanted was the giant lobster.
We left with a gift bag containing a pistachio and raspberry pound cake that I ate a bit of for breakfast for the rest of the week. It was sprinkled with gold-covered pistachios.
It was definitely a meal of a lifetime!
THURSDAY
We were forced back into the real world with a flight in Economy Plus and an airport breakfast. And we did get Jeff's keys back!
7 comments:
What an amazing few days! You write so well that it felt like we were there with you. I'm glad about the keys and the pictures of the food are so great that one could imagine the flavor. Did you feel like TOURISTS taking photos of food?? Sorry about coach seats (HAHA) Love, The, Dad
That comment was definitely NOT written by The, Dad.
I know you didn't take pictures in the restaurant.
Aren't you happy you could be seen in public with at least one family member?
Sounds like you had a dam good time.
I can't fool anybody but to have it happen so fast (within an hour) is very sad indeed. Love, mom
Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was too busy being in shock from The, Dad, signing something with "Love".
Camber is correct. With our gift basket, we received a brochure of the restaurant with those pictures contained therein. We used a modern-day marvel known as a scanner to get them on the email.
Which family member was that? The only one who CHOSE to be a part this group of miscreants?
Thank you, C, for your pereceptive literary analysis. I would never put in a "(HA HA)" either, nor would I say it felt "like" we were there. To view my true comments,see the electronic mail.
I am disappointed, though, that you did not take photographs in the restaurant. I am in the habit of taking pictures of my food.
The,
Dad.
The,
Dad.
Yeah, The, Dad was really into taking pictures of his food in Hong Kong. Then again, I didn't take the parentals to such high class restaurants as the one you have described.
Most of the places we went had a picture of the king of Thailand on the wall.
HAHAHA
(it's even funnier when there's nothing funny)
Love,
Camber
I'm glad we'll be able to see double prints of all of those food pictures. LOL
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